There are lots of reasons why spas can make some of us feel iffy; having to take our clothes off, infuriating whale-and-pan-pipe music, fancying a cup of tea afterwards and being told to drink water.

So what I’m wondering is this: has the spa-fairy had a word with Poole’s Lush Cosmetics, because their facilities and, specifically, their new, Hard Day’s Night Massage is the spa treatment for people who don’t like spa treatments.

For starters it looks like you’re in someone’s vintage kitchen; their ‘welcome room’ has a pine table, Belfast sink and retro tiles instead of your standard high-gloss.

The treatment room is darkened but that’s where the similarity to other treatment rooms ends. I am shown to a couch where I’m left alone to pop on a pair of tartan pyjamas which have been wrapped in a hot water bottle and then I snuggle under a warm sheet.

Therapist Lyndsey Juniper has already explained that the Hard Day’s Night massage will take 75 minutes and will involve ‘a lot of stretches and pulls’ designed to reduce muscle stress and tension and leave me totally relaxed.

The title comes from the specially commissioned collection of re-worked Beatles music from Simon Emmerson and Simon Richmond which accompany each phase of this long and unusual treatment. An indication of how different all this will be comes from the start; a mesmeric audio montage of Liverpool sounds and voices that fades slowly into the Beatles tunes. But not as I’ve ever heard them.

We start with my back being pressed, kneaded and my arms gently pulled and manoeuvred to release tension in the muscles. The warmth combined with the low light and the completely listenable music is hypnotic. It’s incredibly soothing. Because I’m fully clothed there is no oil or grease to contend with. The music delightfully coincides with what’s happening: my mitts are massaged to ‘I Want To Hold Your Hand’. The bliss continues with ribbons used to lift my ankles and yet more gentle stretches, before a head massage and then a mini meditation.

As my eyes flicker open I see the pattern moving on the ceiling and the words ‘Let It Be’. These words form part of the mantra which Lyndsey has encouraged me to say several times. She leaves me alone and I’ve been told that I’ll hear bird-song and then, when I hear the crow of a cockerel, it will be time to – slowly – get up and get dressed.

Back in the ‘kitchen’ I am offered a pot of tea and a couple of fortifying Jammy Dodgers before Lyndsey gives me a bag containing a Golden Slumbers bath bomb – designed to induce the same feelings of relaxation at home and remind me of the last Beatles song in the compilation.

It’s the most amazing spa treatment I’ve ever had and I am already dreaming about another one...

lush.co.uk